


What's Knot Got To Do With It

by rant_girl



Category: CW Network RPF, Supernatural RPF
Genre: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Divorce, F/M, Het and Slash, Infidelity, Knotting, M/M, Mpreg, NSFW Art, alpha to omega!Jared, alpha!Jensen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-04
Updated: 2016-02-04
Packaged: 2018-05-18 02:53:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,335
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5895247
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rant_girl/pseuds/rant_girl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jared and Jensen really do have it all. Ten of the best years of their lives with a steady gig, they’re ready to start their families, side by side. Best friends for life. But can one night tear it all apart? When Jensen knotted Jared neither of them knew it was about to change everything. Will they be able to deal with the fall out?</p>
            </blockquote>





	What's Knot Got To Do With It

**Author's Note:**

> [ART WORK INCLUDED IN FIC NSFW]
> 
> Firstly thank you so, so much to the very lovely [darklittleheart](http://darklittleheart.livejournal.com/) for creating such wonderful and inspiring [art](http://darklittleheart.livejournal.com/1222.html), and for giving me this opportunity to step outside of my comfort zone. You were a joy to work with!! Please go leave her love!!
> 
> Secondly, SO much love to my beautiful beta tmn1966 and my love big_heart_june for dealing with all my crazy and for all their invaluable support. 
> 
> And thank you to the [spn_reversebang](http://spn-reversebang.livejournal.com/) mods for all that you do!

Jared leaned back against the door for a moment after it snicked shut. He’d just said goodnight to Genevieve. She was going home to bed. Their bed. It was Jared and Jensen’s first night back in Texas after wrapping season ten. They had shared a flight and the girls –their girls– had picked them up together. But they had gone home separately, respectively, with their wives to get reacquainted. Jared knew Jensen probably fucked Danneel the second they got through their door, _this_ door. Because Jared _knew_ Jensen. Knew how hungry he got for the taste of her, especially when he’d gone so long without it. 

Jared hadn’t had sex with Genevieve yet. He’d wanted to wait. And Genevieve hadn’t been in a rush to re-consummate their love either. As Jared had heard practically his whole life, he wasn’t like other Alphas, and that was part of why Genevieve had been so drawn to him. They’d spent their time snuggled up on the couch talking. They were to spend the evening at the Ackles home. Danneel had prepared a welcome home feast. So he could wait ‘til Genevieve was one hundred percent all his with no interruptions on the horizon.

But it was as if he’d somehow forgotten the sway Jensen held over him and how unwilling he was to part Jensen’s company once they were together. No obligations. No schedules. Just extremely good food and a whole lot of wine. Their girls had never grudged them their friendship. Their _intimacy_. It’s how they had known they were the right ones. Well aside from falling head over heels. They were both so incredibly lucky.

The closer it got to a time where winding down would have seemed the natural thing to do, the closer Jared and Jensen got to each other. That wasn’t anything new. They pretty much shared a personal bubble and near enough everything else.

Jared opened his eyes, watched Jensen give Danneel a final goodnight kiss and then she turned to go up the stairs. Waited ‘til she was almost at the top before he pressed himself in against Jensen’s back, arm’s wrapping round Jensen’s middle, “To the boathouse?” he asked as he settled his chin on Jensen’s shoulder and he practically felt Jensen’s grin.

“To the boathouse,” Jensen said, unhooking Jared’s arms and he took one of Jared’s hands to lead the way. It was where they liked to have their _we time_. That made Jared snicker and he bumped right into Jensen when he took a half step too many. Jensen stopped and gave Jared one of those super sexy Jensen-y looks, “You’re so wasted.”

Jared scoffed, “You’re wasted,” he said a little more petulantly than intended.

Jensen shook his head, pulling one of Jared’s arms across his shoulders and getting his own arm around Jared’s middle to give him more support. “Just pay more attention to what your feet are doing, _Sasquatch_. We’re almost there.”

Jared snorted, he wasn’t really _that_ drunk, but he did as he was told, he liked it when Jensen took care of him, “Only Dean gets to call me that.”

“I _am_ Dean.”

Jared shook his head, “You’re Jensen.”

“Do you want me to be Dean?”

Jared shook his head again, “I like Jensen.”

Jared felt a warmth spread through his chest as he caught the smile that made its way onto Jensen’s face. He could only see half of it from his current position but Jensen was still insanely beautiful even in profile. 

“We’re here,” Jensen said quietly as he opened up the door, and they just made it through and Jared had Jensen pinned back against it, his hand flat over Jensen’s collar bone. His pinkie just resting in the dip of the hollow of Jensen’s throat, his thumb over his heart. Jensen’s pulse was in Jared’s palm, all at once fragile and strong, everything Jared needed.

“Jay,” Jensen said even more softly, his fingers sweeping Jared’s hair back from his face and behind his ear, and Jared looked up from his hand and into Jensen’s face, “We’re here,” Jensen repeated.

Jensen closed his hand over Jared’s as their lips met, his other hand tangling in Jared’s hair as Jared wrapped his free arm round Jensen’s shoulders. Jared lost track of how long they made out for and he had no clue how they made it into the bedroom. Or how they’d managed to get all their clothes off already. It wasn’t something they really did a lot. Everything they did could be done either fully or partially clothed. But sometimes they just needed to press up against each other. Skin to skin. 

They were on the bed and Jensen was down between his thighs blazing a trail of hot, wet kisses from Jared’s knee all the way along and skipping right over his dick to give the other leg the same treatment. It wasn’t often that they got the time to take things slow like this. It wasn’t the kind of thing they would generally make time for. When they were working, there wasn’t room for much else. Just an urge to be satisfied. This lacked the usual urgency, but not the need. Jared gasped a moan on a shiver as Jensen’s fingers teased his shaft as Jensen closed his lips over Jared’s balls, "Uh, mmhh."

Jared's eyes fluttered shut and he just let himself get lost in the sensations of Jensen's tongue as he licked and sucked and tugged at the sensitive flesh. Jensen's fingers swirling round the tip of his cock head, and then they would stop at the ridge of his glans go counter clockwise. The precome pulsed out steadily, coating the nimble digits. Jared just barely noticed when Jensen pushed his legs wider, moving his mouth lower dragging his tongue down Jared's perineum.

Jared's eyes flew open when Jensen reached his final destination. Tongue pointed as it circled Jared's asshole and Jared jumped a little, tummy muscles tensing. It wasn't that he'd never been touched there. He'd had curiosities that he'd explored with Genevieve, but he'd never been touched there by Jensen before. They'd kind of stuck to hands, mouths and dicks. The most ass play he'd ever gotten from Jensen was groping. That is until now anyway. “Can I?” Jensen breathed hotly over the spit-soaked flesh. Jared quivered, his abs getting another workout, his dick slapping against them and his hole twitched as Jensen circled it with the pad of his thumb.

He looked down at Jensen between his legs, his foot resting on Jensen’s shoulder for a moment before slipping down. He reached out with his hand, fingers tracing lightly over the line of Jensen’s jaw as Jensen held his gaze. Jensen's hand warm on his hip. He’d never had a real dick inside him before, and if he was ever going to he’d only ever want it to be Jensen’s. 

“Yeah,” he nodded as best he could from his current position, “Fuck, Jensen. Please.”

“I got you,” Jensen said kissing Jared’s inner thigh and Jared grasped the hand on his hip giving Jensen’s a squeeze as their fingers intertwined. Jensen crawled back up Jared’s body to give him a proper kiss, pinning Jared’s hand up beside his head, “Just need to¬–” 

Jared turned his head to follow Jensen’s arm as he reached out to the nightstand, opening the drawer with two fingers and he pulled out a little bottle of lube. Jared knew it hadn’t been put there for him, but he couldn’t really think about that when Jensen was looking at him with such intent. Jensen gave him another searing kiss and Jared brushed his hand down Jensen’s back just as Jensen moved to reposition himself down between Jared’s legs.

Jensen really took his time in opening Jared up, his mouth soft and warm as it butterflied across his sensitized flesh, to keep him distracted from the fingers that probed and stretched, that stole his attention when they smoothed over his prostate. He grabbed the back of Jensen’s neck, “Right, there. Jensen. Fuck.”

Jensen’s tongue glided easily up Jared’s cock, the scrape of his stubble as he turned his head to place a kiss over Jared’s hip bone pushing him closer to the edge. Jensen’s hand on his abdomen was warm and gentle and _loving_. Jensen was showing him how much he loved him. And it filled Jared with a greater sense of need to show Jensen that that was exactly how much he loved him too. He dragged his fingers through Jensen’s hair and cupped Jensen’s shoulder with his other hand, “I need you inside me.”

“Okay, Jay,” and Jensen placed another kiss to his flesh, just to the right of his navel before pushing himself to his knees, and hooking Jared’s left knee over his shoulder. And Jensen squirted the last of the lube out to slick up his dick, even though he was practically dripping with pre-come he was so ready. Jensen took a hold of his dick and got them lined up, teasing the slackened rim with just the tip and Jared sucked in a breath, his hands wrapping round the railing above his head. 

Jared bit his lip as Jensen finally pushed in, eyes snapping shut, his hands drawn down to Jensen’s forearms as if magnetized, as his body adjusted to the intrusion. Jared had already been fully aware of just how big Jensen was, the weight of him, but it still hadn’t quite prepared him for having him in his ass. _Fuck_. Jensen was pressing soft kisses to his face, his cheek, his nose, his brow, his temple and down his neck, over his pulse point, “You’re doing so good, Baby,” he whispered gently into his skin.

Made Jared’s eyes fly open. Jensen had never called him that before. He tilted his chin up, pushing himself far enough and Jensen knew what he wanted, leaned down into the kiss. Jensen pulled his hips back, letting his dick pull out, but not quite all the way, and then he rolled his hips back forward inching in a little further. Jared’s head tipped back baring more of his throat, “Uh-ah-ah,” as Jensen’s shoulder nudged Jared’s thigh just a little higher, and Jensen lapped up the sweat that had pooled there. 

The slow grind of Jensen’s hips was driving Jared crazy, so when Jensen finally pushed all the way in Jared cried out, “Jensen,” his leg pulling Jensen in just that little bit tighter so there was absolutely nothing between them. 

“I know, Jay,” and Jensen pulled back and then slammed forwards, his balls slapping Jared’s ass with a satisfying smack, and then he really started fucking him. Thrusts picking up momentum with every moan, every stolen breath that passed Jared’s lips and it wasn’t too long before he started to feel the swell of Jensen’s knot. It almost caught him off guard how much he wanted it, and he managed to drop his leg from Jensen’s shoulder so he could lock both his legs round Jensen’s hips to keep him in place. 

“Fuck, Jared,” Jensen searched Jared’s eyes, _asking permission_ , he didn’t need to, but Jared nodded anyway, and when Jensen’s knot locked into place that’s when Jared came. Arms held fast around Jensen shoulders as Jensen filled him completely. Hips still gently rocking as they remained tied. 

When Jared woke up he couldn’t move. He was very aware of the familiar press of Jensen’s weight on his back, he was only half on top of him, his hand cupping Jared’s bicep. He was just so very pleasantly warm and it felt so good, and made him feel like he never wanted to have to get up from this spot. Of course no sooner had he thought it than his brain decided to remind him that Jensen being on top of him as he was also meant he was putting extra pressure on Jared’s bladder.

Jared grumbled with a pout at the impending movement. But he held off for a moment or two longer before he very carefully worked himself free. Hands and arm gently lifting and guiding Jensen’s body down onto the mattress so that he didn’t wake him up. And he rolled off the bed and went to go pee. He was just adjusting the settings of the shower when Jensen came in to relieve himself and then he joined Jared in the shower. But just to get cleaned up. That was nothing new. 

They did it all the time when they were filming. It saved time and water, and arguments over who got to go first, despite the fact that they each had their own. And okay so maybe Jared liked the feeling of Jensen’s hands all over him, lathering up the shower gel, or working the shampoo into his scalp. Getting your hair washed by someone else was infinitely better than having to do it yourself. 

There wasn’t any food out in the boathouse so once they were re-dressed they went back up to the main house to have some oatmeal and coffee. Danneel only just appearing downstairs in time to give him a smile and wave on his way out the door. 

Genevieve was doing yoga when he discovered her in their living room, mid downward dog, yoga pants very nicely displaying her _ass_ ets. Jared got in behind her, hand going between her legs to cup her pussy and she gasped his name. Didn’t pull out of the position though and Jared started rubbing her though the spandex. He could tell she wasn’t wearing any panties, dimples tugging from the grin spanning his lips. He was tempted to just rip the material open, but Genevieve probably wouldn’t appreciate it.

“Jay,” her voice strained, “blood rushing to my head. Think I could get up now?”

“Of course, Baby,” and she straightened up a little more quickly than perhaps she should have and she lost her footing but Jared caught her easily, “I got you.”

He watched her smile as she sunk back into him, arms hugging round his own, “Let me see you,” she said tilting her head back to look at him and he took her hand to let her turn.

She buried her face in his chest as she wrapped her arms around him, “You didn’t happen to get a surprise visit from Misha, did you?” 

Jared’s brow drew together, “Misha? No. Why?”

Genevieve shrugged a little as she pulled back enough to see his face, “I dunno. You kind of smell different.”

Jared sniffed the air, _Misha?_ He couldn’t detect anything that even remotely smelled like the blue-eyed Omega. All he got was Jensen’s shower gel and Genevieve’s arousal, “I had oatmeal for breakfast?”

“You had oatmeal? My poor, Baby,” she said, drawing her hands down the backs of his arms, and then putting on an affected voice added, “You need mama to give you some _sugar_?”

He laughed, “That was terrible. Traumatising. I don’t know if I’m gonna be able to get over it.”

“No?” Genevieve quirked her brow, taking a step back and she pulled her sports bra up and off, letting it fall behind her, “How about now?”

Jared licked his lips, “Hmm, I think I’m starting to come around.”

“Yeah? I thought you might.”

“The _ladies_ presented their argument _very_ convincingly.”

Genevieve brought her hands up to her breasts, giving them a little squeeze, “You want to go over the,” and she pinched her nipples between her fingers, “finer points?”

Jared picked her up and slung her over his shoulder to carry her up to their room with Genevieve putting on the obligatory mock-protest as she laughed all the way up the stairs. 

He pulled her down into his arms more fully before throwing her down onto the bed. She reached out to him, closing her fingers in his shirt and he took hold of her calf as he leaned down into her for a kiss. Her knee bent over his shoulder, the rough of his denim covered cock dragging over the soft, warm, and now wet, lycra which clung to her pussy as he ground down into her.

Genevieve gasped round a moan, “Fuck. Jay. Take them off.”

She didn’t do begging. She’d told him that on their first date. Told him if he wanted to fuck her he should just fuck her. And he had. Preamble was never really their thing. 

Pulling back up he kissed the inside of her thigh and then tugged the yoga pants off, tossing them aside. He didn’t even bother undressing himself, he just unzipped and pushed into her tight, warm folds and he pounded into her just the way they both craved. Her legs wrapping round him as he pinned her wrists down. He was getting close, but something didn’t feel right. His thrusts slowing right down, “Jared? Why are you stopping?”

“It’s not inflating.”

“What?”

“My knot. It’s not–”

“Babe,” she said with a breathy huff of a laugh, propping herself up on her elbows, “We don’t have to knot every time we have sex. You know we don’t,” and they both shut their eyes when she moved to sit up, his hand going to the small of her back as she placed both of hers over his chest, “Besides, you don’t go into rut until tomorrow. And then you can fill me up with _all_ the babies.”

That got a short bark of a laugh out of him, “I can’t believe you just said that.”

She pinched his arm, “I can’t believe you just made me say that. Now, come on, need you to make me scream.”

“Yes, ma’am,” he smirked and it got the expected smack in retaliation before she let herself drop back down onto the comforter and he gave her exactly what she wanted.

They’d fallen asleep tangled together and woken up just in time for lunch and rather begrudgingly pulled on some sweats to go forage whatever food took the least amount of time to prepare. They ended up just having a lazy day reading together, retreating back to their bedroom, and they talked well into the wee hours of the morning. 

When Jared roused into consciousness it was to an empty bed. But that wasn’t any cause for concern. His hand shot out and he grabbed the first time telling device that his hand landed on, his watch, it was mid-morning. Jared let his face sink back into the pillow. He could probably still go out for his run. That thought jolted him. He felt stable enough to go out for a run? He pushed himself up and got out of bed and went straight into their en-suite and got the thermometer. _Normal_. His temperature was normal. And his dick was still soft in his pants.

He should be climbing the walls right now. Seeking out his mate. Ruts weren’t as overwhelming as heats, but they still required medication to keep them in check. Well if you didn’t want to be a complete Neanderthal. But even on the medication you could still feel the thrum of the want, the _need_. 

Jared slumped down onto the edge of the bed just as Genevieve appeared at their bedroom door, pastry box in hand. She always got him pastries for breakfast, usually donuts, when he was in rut, something quick and fuss free to give him the energy he needed. She sat the box down on the dresser before coming over to him, taking up the space between his legs, wrapping her arms round his neck, “What’s wrong, Babe?”

Jared glanced down, worrying his lip as he took hold of her hips, “I’m not feeling anything.”

Her eyebrows drew together, “How do you mean?”

Jared shrugged and Genevieve pulled back a little, bringing her hands to his shoulders. 

“I don’t know,” he said, bringing one hand up to take hold of her forearm, “But I’m not–“

“Maybe you’re late?” and there was a hint of hope in her voice, but he didn’t need her placating him right now. 

“It’s not a fucking heat or a period, Gen. Shit,” and he instantly felt like an asshole. 

“Sorry,” they said at the same time and she held up her hands and he dropped his head, letting her fingers calm him as they worked through his hair and down to rub his back and shoulders. She kissed the top of his head as she eased off, pulling him with her and he looked into her eyes.

“Something’s wrong with me.”

Genevieve cupped his cheek and he leaned into the touch, “Well let’s go to the doctor.”

He should have expected it. What, had he really thought she would just have some instant magical cure or explanation? Jared had still resisted the suggestion initially though. Going to the doctor just made it way too fucking real. But what else could they do, sit and wait and pray that it was some weird fluke and that everything would be normal the next day? He needed to know with certainty and he needed to know now. The doctor put him through a pretty routine check-up, asked him the same old questions. Then he asked him something he hadn’t even been thinking about.

_Did you allow yourself to be knotted by another Alpha?_

And he took some bloods, but it was really all a formality. Needed for the paperwork to make it official. And so that he could update his insurance policy, but the Doctor was pretty confident in saying Jared was now an Omega.

Their drive home was silent.

It was like they were both just on autopilot. That was until they got inside the house. And Jared flinched when Genevieve slammed her purse down onto the coffee table, “What the hell did you let him do to you?”

“Gen, I–”

“You let him fuck you. You _let_ him fuck you. Jesus _fucking_ Christ, Jared. You’re both Alphas. Or you were.” She shook her head and huffed solemnly, “You’re not an Alpha anymore.”

“Gen, please–?”

“What?!” she snapped.

“I don’t like you yelling at me,” and he dropped his gaze. Fuck he should be angry right now. She was accusing him of–. But she was yelling, and it made him feel rather unsettlingly upset. 

“Uh-haha. Well maybe you should have thought of that before you took Jensen’s knot!” she threw up her hands and pushed them back through her hair, “Fuck! Everything Jared. I let you share _everything_ with him first. No complaints. He’s your best friend. And it was always endearing how close you two are, the depth of your emotional connection. Regular Alphas do not love other Alphas. Not ones they’re not related to. But you love Jensen and god help me I love him too. But this? That was the one thing that was ours. The one thing he was supposed to save for Danni. I mean did you even think about that?”

“I don’t know,” he said and he dragged his hands down his face.

“You don’t know?!”

“Well I don’t. We were drinking. Had already been drinking with you and Danni. You know that. And then we started doing stuff. And that was before you left,” he huffed, throwing up his hands and then pushed one back through his hair, “What do you want me to say? I mean Jesus, Gen, everyone knows that whole knotted Alpha to Omega crap is just a camp fire story that crusty old homophobic whack jobs perpetuate to keep kids on the _straight_ and narrow. Or it was. _Shit_.” 

“Okay, just forget the hocus pocus for two seconds. And, just tell me why? Why would you let him dominate you?”

“It wasn’t like that! It’s not–. When we–. When Jensen and I are together it’s not about that. I mean I guess Jensen kind of leads sometimes, ‘cause he’s older, but it’s not like he ever–. It just always felt right.”

“Right? It felt _right_ to go so completely against your biology and desecrate our vows? Do you even care about that?”

“Of course I care.”

Genevieve huffed. She didn’t believe him. He could hear it. He could feel the tears stinging at his eyes too as he just looked at her, “Gen. I _love_ you.”

Genevieve burst into tears and Jared followed suit as he wrapped her up in his arms. He didn’t know what else to do. And he didn’t want to let her go. The two of them only crying harder when they felt the other tighten their embrace. And they stayed that way, for Jared didn’t know how long, until they started to stop. Genevieve pulled away then and fled to their bedroom. Jared jumped a little when the door clacked shut. Tears springing afresh. He curled himself up on the couch and he had to force himself to stop crying so that he could just get some sleep.

For the whole rest of the week they moved around each other with barely a word. And Genevieve was avoiding touching him. He wished she would touch him. He could just about take the silences but the lack of physical contact? He’d never felt so alone. 

It wasn’t something he could just tell Jensen. He couldn’t tell anyone. He had to fix it himself. He could fix it. Make everything alright again. If he could just get Genevieve to forgive him. Get her back in his arms. Get her to talk. To listen. He could make her see how it didn’t have to stop them from having what they’d always had. What he had with Jensen had never stopped them before.

Nothing had changed. Well, okay, so he’d changed on a physiological level. But that didn’t mean that he wasn’t the same man. He was still Jared. He was still her husband. And he was still in love with her. But any time he tried to tell her that it just seemed to upset her more.

So on the Friday Jared had been a little more than relieved that Genevieve had wanted to go have dinner with Jensen and Danneel. He’d had no idea what he would have told them if he’d had to cancel. And at first he’d thought it was a good sign. A step in the direction of things going back to normal.

It’s what she’d said, “Just act normal,” as she’d handed him a bottle of Alpha musk as they were getting ready. Jared trying to pretend that he didn’t see the mascara stains on the pillow on his side of the bed. 

They took a couple of bottles of wine with them and they all hugged in greeting at the Ackles door. Jensen and Danneel had already opened a bottle so they went straight to the kitchen and Jensen poured each of them a glass. They’d started chatting, the conversation taking a leaning towards how Jensen and Danneel had spent their week as they drifted through to the living room. 

Jensen was telling them about their hike. How he’d had his camera with him. He was probably inches away from going to get it to show them. He’d captured something that he and Danneel had immediately wanted to share with Jared and Genevieve. Jared couldn’t say what it was. He really was trying hard to really listen, but only about half of it was going in. He couldn’t take his eyes off of them. Watching how brightly both Danneel and Jensen lit up when they looked at each other. The way Danneel touched Jensen’s forearm or cupped his knee. How they leaned into each other. And how Jensen put his arm around her back. The warmth in their gestures.

Gestures that he and Genevieve had always shared too. And how cold it felt to have her at his side now. The space between them on their couch might as well have been a gulf. Genevieve looking at him as little as possible. 

When he looked back across at their best friends, Jensen was looking at Genevieve now too, his brow furrowed. He had asked her something that Jared had missed, that came floating back up, as if his ears had only just decided to send the message to his brain.

_Gen, is something wrong?_

“You knotted my husband!”

“What?” Jensen all but spluttered and Jared’s stomach lurched.

“You. Knotted my husband.” Genevieve said more slowly, evenly, anger flaring round the forced control.

“You what!?” Danneel jerked out of his space, shifting so she could get a proper look at him. Her eyes searching Jensen’s, his face, for a moment, and over to Jared and Genevieve.

“He knotted him,” Genevieve said again, and Danneel looked back at her husband as Genevieve continued, “And now he’s not an Alpha anymore.”

“Jensen?” Danneel said, the utterance almost a plea.

Jensen swallowed hard, scratching the back of his neck as his tongue swept out over his lip, eyes resolutely in the middle distance before he finally looked at her again, “Danni, look, I–”

“No,” and for all the world Danneel looked as though Jensen had just sucker punched her, “Oh my God,” her devastation tearing through every wound that Genevieve’s pain had already inflicted upon Jared.

Which wasn’t helped by Jensen’s desperation, “Danni–” 

“No,” Danneel said more firmly this time, her hand held up to stop him as she shook her head.

When Danneel’s watery gaze met Genevieve’s that’s when Genevieve said, “I’m sorry,” and then she was up and out of the door and Danneel went after her.

Jensen was about to follow, “Danni, wait!” 

That was when Jared just completely lost it.

Jensen blinked.

 _Danni, wait_!

He had to stop her. 

He was almost halfway out the door when he heard it. It pierced right through him, obliterating his heart and clawing deep into his soul, bringing him to a halt. He looked up into the space of the door. And he just stared. His life and future in the wind. He scrubbed his hand down through his hair and over his face, fingers sliding across his mouth. Closing his eyes, he heard that dreadful sound playback in his head, which had broken into sobs. Jared needed him. He took a breath, exhaling audibly, and he closed the door. 

Back in the living room he found Jared slumped down on the floor, knees bent towards his chest, making him look so much smaller than his frame would normally allow. Seeing him like this? It made Jensen’s heart clench, “Jay,” he said softly, though it came out more like a question, he wasn’t sure what the best way to handle this was. This was all Jensen’s fault. And he didn’t know if Jared would even want anything from him ever again. But he had to do something.

Jensen approached Jared slowly, crouching down next to his head he very gingerly placed his hand onto Jared’s shoulder blade, in anticipation of Jared’s reaction. He was relieved when all he did was flinch. He didn’t pull away or try and shove him off or tell him to leave. So Jensen rubbed his back in small circles, dropping down onto his butt, he lifted Jared enough to get his legs underneath him and he pulled Jared’s head –and the arm he was using as a pillow– into his lap. His fingers automatically finding their place in Jared’s hair, teasing through the strands to try and calm him, “Shhh,” he whispered.

Switching hands, he started stroking Jared’s back again too in tandem, “Shhh,” and they stayed like that for a while, until Jensen’s glutes started protesting being on the floor for so long. Jensen coaxed Jared to his feet and got him upstairs. 

It wasn’t until he got Jared into the bed –into his and Danneel’s bed– that the tears started tracking down Jensen’s cheeks. But he just wrapped himself round Jared’s back and held on tight, doing his best to keep his breathing under control. Going through his mental check list. 

He’d locked the front door. 

Made sure the oven was off. 

Fuck the food that was left lying. 

He’d gotten Jared to drink some water. 

He’d gotten them both stripped down to their underwear.

And he’d hurt the people he loved most in all the world. He kept seeing that look on Danneel’s face, the moment she crumpled so completely. And Genevieve. So destroyed. And her resignation to it. And the sound that had ripped itself out of the very core of Jared….No. Jensen had to fix it. He was going to fix it. He clung onto Jared tighter, but he kept his hands gentle, lightly stroking Jared’s arms and chest until Jared fell asleep.

When Jensen opened his eyes, he wasn’t entirely sure how much sleep he had actually had. And to be quite honest he really didn’t care. At some point during the night he and Jared had separated. And in the moment just before he turned his head, he clutched at the thinnest slither of hope that when he looked over that Danneel would be there in her space. That the dinner-that-wasn’t from hell was just the scariest high definition surround sound nightmare he had ever had. 

But there Jared was. Making his heart ache all the more. He reached out across the small space between them, let his fingertips trail down Jared’s arm. He loved Jared. He had always loved Jared. Was in love, really, if you wanted to split hairs. Jared was his best friend. And he didn’t see why being in love with someone had to be viewed as something that could only exist on a romantic backdrop. There was so much more to love than romance. 

Jensen wanted and needed Jared just as much as he wanted and needed Danneel. And vice versa. He knew Danneel knew this. He just needed to talk to her. They would talk and everything would be okay. Jensen pushed himself up, leaning over to kiss the back of Jared’s head before he got up and dressed and headed straight for Jared and Genevieve’s house. 

He knocked on the door, nerves twinging in his gut as he waited. Sensing the exact moment that the petite brunette stood on the other side of the door. She didn’t open it right away though. Knuckles twitching to rap on the door again. But he didn’t, didn’t want rush her. He blew out his breath, rocking back on his heels, head tilted back. And when he brought it back down he was greeted with a glare from Genevieve, who looked ready to just slam the door back in his face, "Please. You already opened the door. Let me come in and just hear me out."

Genevieve let out a sigh, her gaze dropping, "Fine," and she let him in, and he followed her into the living room where Danneel was. She was on her feet standing in front of the comfy chair she had obviously just vacated as soon as she heard him. Genevieve stood next to her, brushing the back of her hand against Danneel’s. And they shared a look, both Betas just staring at him. Waiting.

Jensen worried his lip, _fuck_ , he should have prepared something before just marching over here, "Firstly,” he said, clearing his throat, “I want to say I know I betrayed both of you and for that I'm sorry."

Danneel huffed, crossing her arms over her chest, "Just not for the actual fucking?"

"I didn't say that. That's not–"

"You didn't have to. A week, Jensen. A whole week. And you didn't think that was something you should have shared with me?"

"I've never told you about what Jared and I do–"

"That was before you decided to fuck him. Christ, blowing him and rubbing all up on him wasn't enough? I shouldn't have to tell you that that is not normal best friend behaviour."

"Danni–"

She held up her hand, "But you were up front about it. And you spend so much of your time together. I get it. The hours are long. And it's lonely. But you give each other comfort. Companionship. A reason not to look elsewhere," and Jensen was about to argue that he wouldn't have, but she held up her hand again, "I'm not saying you would have. But like an idiot, I took comfort in knowing you had each other."

Danneel wibbled a little and Genevieve squeezed her arm in support, it was then that Jensen noticed just how dishevelled they were too, the weariness of their eyes as they shared a rather hefty look, Danneel shook her head, "We never thought we could come between you two. Or make you stop. Alter your level of friendship–"

"It doesn't have to alter what you and I," he swallowed looking at Genevieve too, "What you and Jared–"

"But it has!” Danneel said with the utmost incredulity, “Fuck, Jensen. Jared is pretty fucking permanently altered. And you think you'll be able to stop yourself? Tell yourself no? You knotted him. You think you're not gonna crave that?"

"I've knotted you too. You're my wife. Fuck, Danni. You think I can just walk away from that? From you?"

"You will."

"And Jared will too," Genevieve added.

"Now, wait a second–" Jensen was ready to defend Jared, but Genevieve shook her head gravely.

"You made him yours, Jensen. You made him yours."

  


 

Jared didn’t want to move. Didn’t want to open his eyes either. And he didn’t need to look to know that Jensen wasn’t next to him. Danneel’s scent still lingered on the bedding, cruelly dragging him into the harsh light of reality. Making the bed feel that much emptier than it already felt without his best friend. How much weaker it made Jared feel. Reminding him of just how weak he had been. How powerfully the emotion had slammed him. He hated it. 

The way Jensen’s touch had calmed him. That wasn’t anything new, Jensen had always had that effect on him, but last night it had just felt so much stronger somehow. It had been almost instantaneous. Like an entity unto itself, pressing into him, seeping into his flesh, permeating his brain, Jensen’s strong, beautiful arms wrapping round him, more secure than any blanket, as the comfort cradled his heart. And he’d blubbered all the harder for it, knowing he really shouldn’t have been blubbering at all. He had always been more emotional, more empathetic than the average Alpha, but nothing like that. Of course he wasn’t an Alpha anymore. He was an Omega. 

When Jared finally couldn’t take it anymore he got up, throwing his clothes back on from the day before. Trudging downstairs to find Jensen in the kitchen, he was making coffee, not unusual in itself, but he was fully dressed and seemed a lot more alert than Jensen was given to be in the morning. Though of course Jared had no way of knowing how long Jensen had been up for. And there was the _tiny_ matter of their lives having just imploded. But still.

“You’re up,” Jensen said as Jared entered the kitchen, glancing up from the coffee pot before his eyes found interest in his feet. It was then that Jared noted that Jensen was wearing boots.

“Where were you?”

Jensen interlocked and unlocked his fingers as he chewed on the corner of his lip, “I, uh, I went to go have a chat with the girls,” Jared watched as Jensen turned, leaning back against the counter, “See where we’re at,” Jensen kind of half huffed, half snorted, shaking his head and he crossed his arms over his chest, “Putting it behind us obviously isn’t an option–”

“Shouldn’t we at least try–” Jared said quickly, but Jensen struck him down.

“You think they could ever trust us again? After what we did. What _I_ did?”

Jared shook his head. He didn’t like the sense of finality that was in Jensen’s voice. It had only been one conversation. And shouldn’t he get to be a part of conversations that were about _their_ future? How could Jensen just go behind his back? Unless he didn’t think he was capable, “Did you do it on purpose?”

“What?” 

“You knew this would happen, didn’t you? Fuck, Jensen. I have to register as an Omega!”

Jared felt a pang of guilt as the hurt contorted Jensen’s features, “Of course I didn’t. I’m in the same boat as you, Jared. How could–….we all thought it was bullshit. There aren’t even any recorded instances of that ever happening.”

Jared so did not care about facts or statistics right now, or how Jensen seemed to think the only issue was that Jared was an Omega, and not why he was an Omega, “What about our wives? I mean did you even think about Danni? Or Gen, when you decided to fuck up our marriages?”

“What? Like you did?”

“We cheated Jensen!! We betrayed their love. Their trust.”

“Don’t you think I know that?”

“Do you? What did we do it for? Why did you do it? Just tell me.”

“Shit. I don’t know. We were talking about starting families. Danni and Gen were talking names and pre-schools. And I was looking at you. How happy you were. And I couldn’t help but think how much I wanted that. With you. Raising our kids.”

“You wanted to impregnate me?”

“What? No. Fuck. No. I mean, Jesus, Jay. Why would I even–? It’s not like that could have happened. Physiologically impossible and all.”

“Well not anymore.”

“Shit, Jared. I never wanted to change you. It was just a dumb thought. I never–. I could just never imagine my future without you in it.” Jensen stepped into Jared’s space taking hold of his forearms, “Our two families. Side by side. Raising our kids together. That’s all I wanted.”

“Well you’re not going to get that now are you?” Jared broke out of Jensen’s hold and stormed out.

Choosing to ignore Jensen as he shouted after him, “Jared, wait! Where are you going to go?”

The door crashed behind him as he stepped out onto the porch. Jared wanted to tear it off of its hinges. He wanted to take each of the carefully placed plant pots and smash them into the garden path. He wanted to go back inside and punch Jensen’s stupidly beautiful face. But he wasn’t going to do any of those things. He wasn’t going to allow himself to become a slave to his emotions.

He walked the short distance to his own house. Hand pausing before it even reached the door. He took a breath, pushing his hand back through his hair and then he knocked, “Gen, please,” out of his mouth before the door was even fully open. Only it wasn’t Genevieve, his voice wavered a little, “Danni.”

“Jared.”

“Can I speak with Gen?”

“It’s Jared!” Danneel called out without taking her eyes from him, but she stepped aside when Genevieve appeared. The two women exchanging words in a glance, Danneel nodding her acquiescence and she left them to it.

“What is it?” Genevieve asked, arms folded over her chest.

“I need to stay here.”

“Why?”

“Gen. Just, please let me in.”

“Jared–”

“I don’t have anywhere else to go.”

Genevieve sighed, “You can’t stay in our bed–”

“I know,” he said a little too quickly, and then, “I mean, I understand. Just. Please?”

She sighed more heavily this time but she let him in. Lead him into the kitchen where she laid down some ground rules for their co-habitation. And Jared ended up telling her all about his fight with Jensen.

“Why can’t we just try and make it work?”

“Jared. I know you’re mad at him right now. But there was a moment. And maybe you didn’t make the decision consciously but you made it. And you chose him. And I can’t play second chair anymore. I won’t.”

“Gen,” Jared choked out around a sob, the emotion engulfing him.

“You’re an unclaimed Omega, Jared. And in our business that’s a worse position to be in than almost anywhere else. And even if I wanted to. I can’t claim you. Only an Alpha can. So you’re gonna have to make another decision.” She wasn’t saying it to be cruel, he could feel how much it pained her to have to say those things, “I’m sorry,” she whispered.

“No. Don’t you– you’re not the one who has to be sorry. It’s my fault–”

Genevieve shook her head, “I don’t know that it’s really anyone’s fault. Can’t mess with fate.”

“Fate?”

“We were all foolish to think we could pretend it wasn’t right there.”

It was kind of funny how time could move so fleetingly when each individual day felt like trying to run through a pit of wet cement. Jared had spent most of his time lying about listlessly either on the couch, that was in his office slash man cave. Or on the bed in the guest room on the days where he didn’t quite have it in him to even pretend he was still living life. Mostly he just wanted to stay out of the girls’ way. Though he’d had more conversations with Genevieve than he’d cared to about the dissolution of their marriage. A big part of him still didn’t want to accept it, but he’d given up on trying to convince her to stay.

Danneel had left about a week ago. Jared didn’t know where she’d gone. He hadn’t asked. They hadn’t really talked much anyway, apart from the odd _sorry_ as they stepped around each other in the kitchen, or a half smile as they passed each other on the stairs or in the hall. 

And it had been about a month since he’d last spoken to Jensen. He was a stubborn jackass like that. Not that Jensen had gone out of his way to talk to Jared either. Stubborn. Jackass. Or at least Jared hoped that that was all it was. He couldn’t bear the thought that Jensen couldn’t forgive him. That was part of what was holding him back. 

As had become the norm, Jared didn’t begin to rouse into consciousness until about midday. He wriggled a little, tugging the covers more fully over himself. He was lying on his stomach and the movement caused the slightest of friction against his not-so-morning wood and he moaned. Pushing up onto his knees just enough to push his ass out and he rolled his hips down into the bed, and his dick slid along the sheets. Humping the bed in earnest, pre-come making the glide smoother, until a sudden burst of wetness dripped down his taint and onto his balls made him stop. 

Jared reached back with his hand, his fingers landing directly on his wet, puffy hole, which made him shiver, his breath catching as he rubbed himself. He pushed two fingers in like it was nothing, curving them into his prostate, and he cried out. Bringing his fingers back before his face, the sticky substance webbing between his fingers before the stretch forced to part and slide down his fingers. _Fuck_. He’d forgotten all about the whole self-lubrication thing. 

He pushed himself up onto his knees, leaning back on his heels, which he instantly regretted as his sopping wet pyjama bottoms came into contact with them and he quickly got himself off the bed. His cheeks heating up as he took in his reflection. If he didn’t know any better, it would look like he had wet himself. And as it was the patch of wetness kept expanding, the material starting to stick to him he was leaking so profusely from his dick and his asshole. He needed to make it stop. 

Maybe he just needed to make himself come. Yeah. That sounded like a good plan. He peeled off his pants, and whipped off his shirt and walked naked to the shower in the master bathroom. He was alone in the house. Genevieve had gone to her parents. So it wasn’t like he had to worry about anyone seeing. He might have to owe her a new mattress though. 

The water felt good on his skin, and he pressed his hands flat against the tile as he dropped his head down under the spray. He just stood for a moment before taking one hand off the wall to wrap around his aching dick. But it barely even took the edge off. If anything it just made him feel hornier. He didn’t even bother with a towel when he got out of the shower.

He felt hot. _Really_ hot. And there was just a really overwhelming sense of _need_. 

He called Jensen. And Jensen picked up on the second or third ring. Didn’t take much to convince him to come over. They were really smart, buying houses in the same neighbourhood. Jensen made it over in record time. And Jared practically whined the second Jensen set foot in the house, before he even called out. Jared sensed him. His scent was so heady, strong, and Jared needed it like breathing, “Jensen, please.”

He had no recollection of leaving his bedroom, but there he was at the top of the stairs.

“Fuck, Jay,” was what Jensen said as he took in the sight of him.

“Yes,” Jared nodded, and he moved to start down the stairs, “Please. Fuck me. Need you to fuck me.”

“Jared,” Jensen swallowed hard, holding up his hands, and Jared stopped moving as Jensen came to him instead, “I can’t–. We shouldn’t. You don’t really want me to.”

Jensen sounded upset by his own words, like he believed them. But they weren’t true, and he had to make Jensen see that. Jared shook his head vehemently, “I do want you to,” and he nodded then as Jensen gently placed his hands on Jared’s shoulders, guiding him back onto the landing.

“That’s just the heat talking. How about I run you a nice cold bath, huh?”

“No.” Jared shook his head again, “Need your dick in me.” And he wrapped himself round Jensen, nosing along his jaw line.

“Jared. Fuck.” Jensen took a breath, “Stop. We shouldn’t do this. Not like this. We need to talk about this Jared–”

But Jared wasn’t listening, he grabbed one of Jensen’s hands and brought it down to his hole, and he arched his back, rubbing himself against Jensen’s fingers.

“Fuck.”

“Please, Jensen. Please. I don’t want anyone else. I need _you_.”

And two of Jensen’s fingers curved into Jared’s hole, and Jared gasped, his grip tightening on Jensen’s wrist and he brought it up to his mouth to suck those two fingers clean. When they slipped from his tongue, Jensen brushed them over the apple of Jared’s cheek and down along his jaw to tuck his hair behind his ear. He captured Jared’s lips in a kiss and Jared got his arms around Jensen, his cock sliding over the rough of Jensen’s jeans. 

Jensen’s hands just caressing Jared’s ass with the lightest of pressure, teasing and he jumped up so that Jensen had to grip on tight to hold him up. Fingertips tickling at his crack as Jensen pulled his ass cheeks apart, Jared could feel the fresh spurt of slick, “Jeeeeensen,” he moaned as Jensen carried him into the bedroom. 

“It’s okay, Baby,” Jensen soothed, setting Jared down on the opposite side of the bed away from the wet patch, and he slid his hands up and down Jared’s thighs, thumbs pressing in along the underside, “I’ll take care of you.”

They had breakfast together in the morning, Jared had slid in behind Jensen to give him a hug while he was making the coffee and he rested his cheek on Jensen’s shoulder and he wasn’t going to let go. Then Jensen had to go and remind him about the whole food thing, and he let go to allow Jensen to make pancakes. But Jensen had to go meet with Danneel and their lawyer, so there was no room for lingering after they finished eating. Jared had almost forgotten that Jensen and Danneel were getting a divorce too. It was still hard to believe at times that it was all really happening. How they’d got there.

But in that moment Jared didn’t really care. He was finally Jensen’s and he didn’t want him to go. And he immediately felt like an asshole. Both Danneel and Genevieve deserved so much more.

 _Genevieve_.

The house felt so hollow without her, and it wasn’t even as if she had taken any of her stuff, yet, but it was just that, a house. Genevieve had made it home. And it wasn’t anything. Just a shell. 

Jared walked from room to room, unable to settle. He didn’t have the patience or the concentration to just sit and read. And forget about trying to follow anything he could pull up on a screen. He’d checked out the window more times than he’d care to count for any sign of Jensen’s truck, even though he knew it was nowhere near time for Jensen to be back yet.

He groaned a little when he got to the guest room, _his_ room, as he took in the very blatantly sex-rumpled sheets. He smacked himself in the face and then dragged his hand down. He really had ruined the bed so completely. Omega or not, it couldn’t be normal to produce that much fluid.

It was just so mortifying. And oh God, how desperate and needy he had been with Jensen. There was a certain need that came with going into rut. But it had never made him feel so out of control. He wasn’t one of those Alphas that would just get on any available ass. He couldn’t just knot someone he wasn’t in love with. It meant something to him.

And somehow Jensen had managed to get him to forget that sacred vow he had taken with Genevieve. Because Jensen wasn’t the kind of Alpha to just knot anything that moved either. He loved Jared. Jared knew that. And he loved Jensen too. He had always loved Jensen right from the beginning. 

He could still remember their first kiss very vividly.

They had been watching tv together, it’d been about a week and a half since Jensen officially moved in with him, and Jared had been surreptitiously trying to alleviate the boner he’d sprung. Or he had hoped. Jensen had caught him of course. But of all the possible scenarios that Jared could have come up with for how Jensen might have reacted, he never would have anticipated Jensen shoving his hand down into his pants to take a firm hold of his dick and jacking it himself. Jensen had kissed the gasp right from his lips. 

Actually now that Jared thought about it, Jensen had always been the one to initiate their intimate interactions. The one that pushed things to the next level.

When they were in public Jared was seen as the initiator, the touchy feely one. And he did touch and grope and hug Jensen, and just generally took any opportunity to invade his personal space. And more often than not, Jensen would put on a show of rebuffing him or being uncomfortable with said intrusions.

But in private, Jensen was always the one who closed the gap. Pulled Jared close. A place Jared had never been opposed to being. He wished he could be there now, in Jensen’s arms. 

The second Jensen got back Jared threw himself around him, and Jensen hugged back automatically, with a bit of a nervous laugh, “Hey. What’s all this for?”

“I missed you.”

“I was only gone a couple of hours.”

“You didn’t miss me?”

“I wanted to get back to you as soon as possible. Does that count?”

“How’d it go?”

“As expected? Danneel was always too rational for her own good,” Jensen twisted his wedding band with his thumb.

“You miss her?”

Jensen pinched the bridge of his nose and then shook his head, but a single tear still managed track down his cheek, “I’m sorry I fucked us all up.”

“Jensen–”

“We were supposed to have kids. The four of us. Me and Danni. You and Gen. And we’d have barbecues, and vacations, and I fucked it up. It’s all my fault.”

“It’s not like I was a passive participant. I could have stopped it.”

“Why didn’t you?” Jensen asked quietly, not trying to be inciteful or pass blame. Just curious.

Jared shrugged, “I don’t know. It felt good. And it’s not anything I hadn’t done with Genevieve.”

“You let–”

“I asked her to. I’d always wanted to know what it felt like. And you’ve never been rimmed. But it feels _so_ good. And prostate massage….I never bought into that doing ass stuff makes you less than Alpha bullshit–”

“Well, me neither.”

“But you never wanted to try.”

“Not on myself. No. Are you still mad at me?”

“Not as much as maybe I should be. But it’s not something _you_ did. We did it together. And fuck, I was never gonna be able to live my life without you in it anyway. I don’t think I could take it if you didn’t want me.”

“Of course I want you. Shit, Jared. I couldn’t live without you either,” and Jensen pulled him into a kiss. 

Another month passes. They go to the conventions, but they don’t make any announcements or reveals, and they wear their wedding bands so as not to cast any suspicions but they don’t really talk about the girls, and no one really asks. Jared was using an Alpha scent to help cover along with Omega suppressors and they were both more hyper aware of just how much they touched each other and how exactly they touched each other in front of the fans, or even in front of their friends and fellow cast mates. But Jared still leaned into Jensen whenever he could, he needed the comfort, the fortitude that only Jensen could give him, especially with everything they couldn’t say. That Jared wasn’t ready to share. 

And in between conventions Jensen had scheduled their down time practically down to the minute so that they were always doing something, even their lazy days had an itinerary. Which was something Jared would normally rib Jensen about, but it was what Jared needed right then. There was also no way Jared was getting over how insanely adorable it was and how ridiculously happy it made him that Jensen had actually pencilled in snuggle time into their days together. And how he made Jensen change “have sex” to “fuck Jared’s brains out”. And that one definitely got a “mission accomplished” and an _A++_ to which Jensen had snorted, “You know, you don’t have to leave feedback on every item.” 

“Hey, you put in the work.”

And Jared grinned his face off when Jensen swatted at him.

They’d been so busy that Jared had almost forgot that he was supposed to go into heat. Didn’t even cross his mind until he got back from dropping Jensen off at the airport. Jensen was directing an episode again so he had to go back up early. Suppressors didn’t work that good. He’d read the booklet cover to cover about a gagillion times and he’d asked his doctor all the questions. During a heat the symptoms would be alleviated, the pills making it more manageable but it was very clear that the ache would still be there. 

So Jared went to the doctor on his own, he didn’t bother telling Jensen about it because it was probably nothing. It was only his second heat, and his body probably just hadn’t regulated itself yet with the having to adjust to the medication and all. But he finds out that he’s pregnant. And then he really didn’t want to tell Jensen. If he told Jensen then he’d have to tell his parents, and he hadn’t even told his parents that he was an Omega. 

He didn’t know how to tell them that he was no longer the Alpha they had raised. Never mind telling them that he was also pregnant with Jensen’s child. Their child. Fuck. Neither of them had told their parents about the real reason they were getting divorced. Jared knew it was unfair to have Genevieve and Danneel and Jensen all still playing along with the charade, but he didn’t want to be an even bigger disappointment than he already was. 

Everything felt upside down and backwards. All he had to do was say, “Stop. Not there.” And none of it would have happened. He’d probably have been having a baby with Genevieve and he wouldn’t have to feel like this. He’d never been so ashamed. How could he have let it happen? He couldn’t have a baby. His body wasn’t meant to…hadn’t been meant to.

His phone buzzed. A text from Jensen to let him know he was in their apartment safe and sound. And there was a little heart after his _I love you_. Jared sent off a _love you_ of his own and then he turned off his phone. He knew Jensen would probably try and call, and Jared just wasn’t ready to deal. And by tomorrow Jensen would be too absorbed by his directorial duties to even think about Jared or why his phone was going straight to voicemail.

Jensen sucked in a breath a little sharper than he’d intended and held it for, one, two, three, cupping the back of his neck as he sighed. He checked his phone again. Still nothing. Not that he’d miss it if there was. He’d checked and re-checked and then checked again that the volume was working. He’d text Jared when he got in, hopping into the shower after he’d gotten Jared’s response, and he’d planned on calling Jared once he felt more human again. 

But Jared wasn’t answering.

 _No_.

Jared had switched off his phone. And of course they didn’t have a landline. Who had a landline anymore? Something Jensen was seriously going to have to reconsider. And he’d already gone through all the plausible scenarios. Maybe Jared hit the wrong button? Maybe he had a call from someone else? Or maybe his phone had just died? 

But there was no ringing out, or busy tone and Jared had never let his phone run out of juice in ever. And even if it did, he would just plug it in to keep on using it. 

Something was wrong. But Jensen didn’t know what. Things had been going great between them. Better than, even. They were finally together the way that perhaps they always should have been. But apparently Jensen had missed something. And fuck. Because he had to get up at the ass crack of dawn the following morning, but he was too keyed up to even think about going to sleep. So he got dressed and met up with Rob and Jason. They’d invited him out anyway, they were doing a very low key gig at a club, and he had had to turn them down. He could adult responsibly on occasion. Tonight wasn’t going to be such an occasion.

He had just set down his drink, when lo and behold, “Genevieve,” he got up immediately and put his arms around her, and was relieved when she hugged back, “Hey, Jensen.”

He kept a hold of her as he pulled back enough to see her face, “Gen. I am so sorry.”

“You know, you don’t have to say that every time you see me.”

Jensen gave her a lopsided smile, “Feel like I do.”

“Feelings are overrated.”

They both snorted at that and Jensen had offered to buy her a drink and they talked for a little while. She was actually in Vancouver to audition for a couple of roles, but she thought she’d come out and support their friends. Which didn’t make Jensen feel like any less of an asshole. But Genevieve wasn’t having it. 

“I think I’ll feel better once everything is finalised. We all will.”

“Yeah,” Jensen said. That was what he wanted for them all too. They all needed to move forward. And hopefully Jared’s way forward still included Jensen. 

It wasn’t ‘til a few days later that Jared finally switched his phone back on and he was inundated with messages both text and voice. He was sitting by Jensen’s pool – _their_ pool now as Jensen kept reminding him– and naturally he hit Jensen’s name first and started to scroll through the messages. Immediately feeling guilty for cutting him off. Cutting him out. Jensen was worried about him. _Shit_. And double shit as he read the second to last text Jensen had sent him. It was a reminder that Danneel was supposed to be coming by to pick up the rest of her stuff. Jared had promised Jensen that he would clear out so she could have the time to herself. 

He was already up and back inside but it was too late, she was turning her key in the door, “Jared,” she said with a note of surprise.

“If you want me to go–”

She arched an eyebrow at him, “You really think I would make you leave? I did tell Jensen that was unnecessary, but you know what he’s like.” 

Jared gave a half-hearted shrug and she smiled with a shake of her head and then suddenly she was hugging him. The emotion rose up in him so fast he almost didn’t have the time to choke it back. He dropped his head to hers, and he held on tight, “I’m sorry–”

“Jared. Honey,” she gave him an extra squeeze before pulling back a little, and he did the same, though she kept a hold of his arms, “Come on. Let’s sit down. Hmm?”

He nodded and let her guide him to the couch, “So, you want to tell me what’s going on?”

“He called you. Didn’t he?”

Danneel gave him a shrug of her own, small smile still on her lips, “I was in the neighbourhood.”

“Look, you don’t have to–”

“I don’t have to what? Care about you? You think I could just switch that off?”

“You should be mad at me.”

“I was. But I’ve had a lot time to think about it all now and I’ve moved past it. We were friends, Jared. And I hope we still can be. Because I do still care. So if I can help you out–”

Jared just nodded.

“Tell me,” she said quietly as she cupped his knee.

“I feel like–. I don’t know what I feel. Everything’s just so screwed, like I’m living someone else’s life, and I can ignore it when I’m with Jensen, but it’s like I have this pit inside, and it keeps getting darker and darker, and it hurts, Danni. And I don’t know what to do. I don’t want them to disown me.”

Danneel bit her lip, and she took his hands, “Jared, no one’s going to disown you. Your family loves you. You know that. And I know it’s probably not what you want to hear right now, but this feeling? You are the warmest and most open person I have ever known, and I don’t think it’s going to go away. Not until you come clean. It’s the secrets. All the secrets and having to hide the one thing that makes you happiest in this world,” and she gave his hands a squeeze with a smile, “You’ve always been a shout it from the rooftops kind of guy.”

He huffed a laugh at that. She was right. But then there was also the other thing, “I’m pregnant.”

Her eyebrows shot up, “You’re what?”

“I found out,” and he gulped a little, “The day Jensen went back up to Vancouver.”

And she seemed to let that mull over for a bit in her head as she let it sink in, closing her eyes as she shook her head a little, “What do you want to do about it? Were you gonna–?”

“No.” he said a lot more firmly than he’d expected, and he gave her an apologetic look, “I don’t know.”

“It’s your body. Your choice–”

“I know. But I don’t think I’d feel right about it.”

She smiled a little, “Well then I guess you’re already decided. Though I would be remiss if I didn’t say I think you need to talk to Jensen about it.”

“I know.” And he was pretty sure he already knew how Jensen would take the news.

“He loves you, Jare, he’ll support you no matter what.”

Under regular circumstances Jared would back that one hundred percent, but with this? 

“Hey,” she must have seen his doubt because she gave his hand an extra squeeze, “You can always call me.”

“Thanks, Danni.”

Jared and Danneel talked a while more and he helped her pack up her things. And she’d very gently reminded him that Jensen wasn’t the only one who had wanted kids. Jared had wanted them to. He still did. Hands settling on his still flat abdomen. He’d just never thought about having them like this. It wasn’t too long after she’d gone that he booked his flight for Vancouver. He had to talk to Jensen before they started shooting. At first he’d thought that maybe he should wait ‘til after Jensen was finished directing. But that would probably quite literally drive him nuts and it wouldn’t be fair on either of them.

And he knew he’d made the right call when he got on location. Jensen had stopped mid-sentence and zeroed right in on Jared, pulling him into a bone crushing hug, which lasted a whole lot longer than Jensen would typically hug him for when they were in front of the crew. It had been a while since Jared had seen him so happy. Jared just clung back, didn’t let go until Jensen did. 

Jared watched Jensen’s tongue as it swept out over his bottom lip, teeth worrying the corner, and Jensen shook his head, dragging the heel of his palm across his brow, “Uh, sorry, guys,” he said loudly enough for the crew to hear and then let his voice drop back down to say, “Jared.”

“It’s okay. I’ll go. Just wanted you to know that I’m here. We can talk tonight.”

Jensen smiled, “Thank you.”

Jared clapped Jensen’s shoulder and then he let him get back to work. He went back to their apartment to have a lie down, wasn’t like there was much else to do except wait. Sleeping was definitely the best way to go and he didn’t wake back up until about dinner time. Jensen wasn’t home yet but he couldn’t stay in bed a second longer. 

There wasn’t much in the way of actual food in the apartment, so he ended up having half a bag of chips and a couple of pop tarts. He’d have to go grocery shopping in the morning. Get things of actual nutritional value. 

He was going to have a baby. A baby that was going to grow inside him. In honesty he still couldn’t wrap his head around it. Didn’t seem like that was about to happen any time soon either. But it didn’t feel like the end of the world anymore. Sleeping had helped. And Danneel was right. Didn’t mean he’d stopped freaking the fuck out. The sooner Jensen got home the better. 

But however soon it was wasn’t soon enough. Jared was near enough bouncing off the walls by the time Jensen did come through the door. The two sharing the kiss they didn’t get to share earlier and they both laughed when Jared’s stomach growled as the heavenly scent of whatever takeout Jensen had gotten for them hit his nostrils, “God, I love you.”

Jensen knocked his knuckles into Jared’s shoulder with a laugh, “Love you too, Dork.”

They sat out on the balcony to eat and they shared a lounger, Jensen sitting in the v of Jared’s legs, the food sat between Jensen’s, and was easy enough for Jared to get to. Every so often Jensen would hold his chopsticks back to Jared’s mouth so that he could try some of Jensen’s too.

Jensen had also got them beer. Jared had picked up his bottle a half dozen times, almost took a sip twice before he caught himself. He was getting kind of thirsty now. Would probably have to get up soon. And he kind of absently started picking at the label with his thumb.

“You’re not drinking?” Jensen asked.

Jared nodded, he could do this, “Kinda what I need to talk to you about. Can we–”

And Jensen started to move before Jared even finished the thought, “Yeah, sure. Of course,” shifting the cartons out of the way so that they could sit side by side, “So…?”

“I’m pregnant. And Christ I still feel stupid as hell saying it–”

“How–. When–?”

“The day you came up here. I hadn’t gone into heat,” and Jared ducked his head down, “So I went to the doctor. He ran some tests. And he told me.”

“And what did you–. Wait. Who did you tell?”

“Danni. She managed to talk some sense into me.”

Jensen smiled, unshed tears glistening in his eyes, but he didn’t say anything. He was leaving the ball in Jared’s court. Probably too fearful to hope. Fuck, Jared was still borderline petrified. But here he was staring into the face of the man he loved more than he’d ever loved another soul, “So. I guess we’re having a baby.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” Jared smiled. 

“You really mean it?”

“I want to raise a family with you.”

After they had wrapped that episode and Jensen had hung up his director’s hat for the season, they decided to share the news together. They had called Genevieve and had invited her over for the following day so that they could talk. She had a right to know before they shared it with the rest of their close friends and family. She had cried a little, but Genevieve was every bit as classy a lady as Danneel. And they finally told their parents the whole truth. Then they had to tell their managers and the writers and the crew and the network. And then of course they had to release a statement in regards to their divorces and the change in their relationship status, and requesting that the respect for their privacy, for Danneel’s and Genevieve’s and their families privacy to be upheld.

The writers and network were on board with incorporating Jared’s pregnancy into Sam’s storyline. Something about a succubus with seashorse biology, Jared was sure it would all come together. He was also sure that there would be someone somewhere yelling at a screen that they should just finally embrace the Wincest and have Sam be pregnant with Dean’s baby. And well fuck it. Maybe they should. But something told him the network wouldn’t go for it.

 

A couple of months down the line. Jared was feeling really incredibly horny and yet also so very not sexy, his pecs felt too tight and too sensitive and he was _rocking_ one hell of a baby bump. He quite literally looked and felt like a blimp. Apparently he was having twins. So Jensen was fully responsible for making him feel better since he got him into this state. Jensen had to film some action scene that Jared was too pregnant to be a part of or whatever. So Jared was waiting for him in their trailer. 

He would have stayed on set to watch but his feet started to hurt if he stood up for too long and those little director-y chairs were too uncomfortable, and he just knew if he even tried sitting in one he’d probably just end up on his ass. He swiped his finger through the plate of frosting the craft services had given him, sucking it off. And it was the good stuff, like fresh from a bakery and not that tinned crap. He’d only been half-surprised when Jensen hadn’t confiscated it. He was very adorably concerned with Jared eating _all_ the right kinds of things. But he was usually good about letting him indulge when he needed to. 

As soon as he sensed Jensen approaching the trailer he started to smile. And Jensen crawled right onto the bed, leaning down to kiss Jared’s cheek before slotting in behind him. And Jensen reached around taking a double fingered scoop of frosting for himself, “Mmm,” and he nosed at the nape of Jared’s neck, “You’re not gonna make me lick that off of you are you?” 

“What so you can eat it all?” Jared snorted in an _ain’t gonna happen_ kind of way, but then he shook his head, “Don’t want to get sticky.” 

Jensen chuckled at that, “Well then how am I supposed to help you out?” planting an opened mouth kiss on Jared’s exposed shoulder. 

“Ha, ha,” Jared said very unamused, “Can you just put it in me already?”

“Be still my heart. Oh wait, it is. Aren’t you even gonna take your clothes off first?”

Jared’s nose scrunched, he really wasn’t feeling it, “I mean it isn’t really necessary that we be fully unclothed right?”

“Jay–”

“Jensen. Please. I’m all massive and gross, and–” he kind of mumbled the rest of what he had to say as quickly as possible, already knowing Jensen wasn’t going to let him get away with it.

“I’m sorry, what was that?”

“I don’t want you to see me.”

Jensen thumped his arm.

“Ow.”

“Dumbass,” Jensen pushed himself up, picking up the plate of frosting as he went to set it aside so that he could lie face to face with his husband to be, and Jared took hold of the hand Jensen placed on his cheek, “You’re the most beautiful man I ever laid eyes on,” Jared smiled into the kiss Jensen gave him, despite himself, “And you’re not gross...well, mostly.”

Jared punching Jensen in the shoulder this time, but Jensen just put his hands on Jared’s belly, scooching down the bed to get his face as close as possible, “Hey, Babies,” and he gave Jared’s belly two kisses, one for each, “Mommy-Daddy is being very silly, isn’t he?”

“They’re not calling me that.”

“Well, we’ll work something out.”

“I mean it, Jensen,” and he meant to sound stern, but Jensen had lifted his shirt, and was pressing little butterfly kisses all over his bump, Jensen’s lips and Dean’s scruff tickling him, “Hmm…what about Daddy-Jared?” Jensen rumbled against his skin, and Jared cupped the back of Jensen’s neck.

“Better.” but he hissed when the scrunched up material dragged over his nipples. 

“Sorry, Babe,” Jensen gave him an apologetic smile, and he knelt up, knocking Jared’s fingers with his own, so that he could thread their fingers together, their hands resting on top of Jared’s belly, “Are you gonna let me love all of you now?”

Jared sighed, “Okay. Yes. Just. Don’t touch my chest.”

“Promise,” Jensen kissed just under Jared’s jaw, below his ear, and then he pulled Jared’s shirt off over his head for him. Jared watched him intently as he slid off the bed to divest himself of Dean’s clothes. Watched the love and lust war in Jensen’s eyes as he stared right back. Jensen’s hand closing round Jared’s ankle and he tugged off Jared’s pyjama bottoms, and he allowed Jensen to rearrange him into a more optimal position. He loved when Jensen just took control. 

All the heat pinned to the curve of his hip as Jensen took hold, slotting back into place behind him, “God, I love you, Jay,” hips snapping forward, easily sheathing himself in Jared’s heat.

Jared swallowed a moan, “Love you too.” 

 

-The End.


End file.
